Author Topic: Help with my Essay  (Read 1929 times)

Jarai7474

  • Guest
Help with my Essay
« on: May 13, 2012, 06:57:15 pm »
Hello Kate,

I have to write an essay on "How can you use the information in the Campus common to positively affect the goals you have set for your academic life and career"

Here's what I have come up with so far


The Campus Common is so full of information that when I decided to have a career in professional photography I realized that its much more than just looking through a lens and clicking a button. Its making what you see in that lens come to life and that's how I see the Campus Common. To me its much more than looking at all these tabs and stories , or just clicking its going through each one and keeping them in your head and making your goal come to life.



kbutler

  • Guest
Re: Help with my Essay
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2012, 11:32:59 am »
Hello :)

This is a good introduction to the essay, for sure. Now your task will be to create one paragraph for each point you wish to make. Just slow down and make sure that each paragraph addresses only one topic, or area, of the Commons and how it will affect these goals. Be clear about specific goals that you are addressing as well. Does this help?

Kate

Jarai7474

  • Guest
Re: Help with my Essay
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2012, 11:57:36 am »
Yes it helps a whole lot, Thank you very much and I will surely let you see my rough draft before I turn it in. Thanks again!

kbutler

  • Guest
Re: Help with my Essay
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2012, 04:17:45 pm »
Great! I will look forward to it :).

Kate

Jarai7474

  • Guest
Re: Help with my Essay
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2012, 06:14:05 am »
DISREGARD THIS LAST MESSAGE

« Last Edit: May 16, 2012, 04:22:38 am by Jarai7474 »

kbutler

  • Guest
Re: Help with my Essay
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2012, 11:05:02 am »
Hi there :).

Please find some editing attached. Watch out for those run-on sentences in particular. I referred you to a handout that may help :). I would also suggest that you work to clarify topic sentences a bit in order to connect these areas of the Commons more clearly to your career goals, in addition to your educational goals. So, this is a good draft. Just work on organization in order to make your points crystal clear. I hope this helps!

Kate